1. |
White Pine
04:10
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My brother told me all about the white pine blister rust
and he said the bark beetle's bite hurts like hell
Well, I'm just as tall and I'm just as rough
and any chance I stood sat down when he fell
so I count the witches' brooms and the bloody needle tips
and the sum comes up at the end of each damn day
but our mama told me once with time between her lips
that everything is nothing but change.
So, I will go.
I hate the sound of a slap laid down from the lightning on a mountain's face
but the scar speaks for the flash in a sacred moan
that there's beauty in what is brief and even more in what we waste
like the blue in a sea of black that lives alone
so when it's my time to fall, to bleed and to break
I only ask you one simple thing
don't say it was enough or that I've gone to a better place
just hold your head in your hands and let regret sing.
Oh, let me go.
If I could I would stay right here,
so let me go.
And though futile my fight might feel
I've still got to try
while I've still got time
to make it all a little worth while
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2. |
A Boy Who Smiles
04:37
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A Boy Who Smiles
You've got my picture but I'm still just a fantasy
of a boy who smiles at everyone and laughs at everything
There's nothing to it, I assume you're still on the other line
with someone who thinks you're listening but really you're wasting their time
This cold turkey attempt is wearing me out
Life's not always what you say it's about
And the lies that I'm telling are seriously true
about how much I've got in me to get you
I found her lying to herself and you put me down
How you couldn't see she's right for me, I'll never figure it out
So since you've tagged me as the one to blame for things being hard
there is nothing I can do for you that won't pull you apart
This cold turkey attempt is wearing me out
Life's not always all you say it's about
And the lies that I'm telling are seriously true
about how much I've got in me to get you
cause I'm not what your mind will allow
and you want me to tell you but you don't know how
and it's not that I'm acting it out
it's that you won't give me the benefit of the doubt
like I say good day to you but you hear another goodbye
So, there's no feeling inside me now when I'm watching you cry
no, there's no feeling inside me now when I'm watching you cry
no, there's no feeling inside me now when I'm watching you cry
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3. |
Like Him, Like Me
03:30
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Like Him, Like Me
Pencils and pens we sit and stare
numbers and sighs flow through the air
I'm manic I'm mad
I'm happy then sad
Oh, somebody help me decide
I've got pages that need to be read
Sort out my life, but I'll sleep instead
Waste photos, take time,
and see that I'm
Just not that guy
Well, I'm just a scene
that flutters, flicks, and fades away
off the screen
that shows you clips from better days
like him
I refuse to be
Quick to pain and slow to learn
Sticks to smoke and flesh to burn
It's all on you,
there's nothin' I can do
Oh, strip down this tired life
Well, I'm just a scene
that flutters, flicks, and fades away
off the screen
that shows you clips from better days
like him
I refuse to be
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4. |
Jeremiah
04:15
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Jeremiah
Jeremiah told me a story all about what's in you
the battle between your head and heart and how you didn't think that you could see this through
and all the things you know you knew weren't true
I've been reading old classics, best sellers, and things everybody's read
I flipped through Fitzgerald's Gatsby, I found your description and there it said
that your life is more of a pink and less of a red
Now, someday you might find there's more to say
than what your tongue and teeth can put in place
and when it comes you'll feel you've fallen far away
from where you thought the world got it's grace
Companions are friends, friends are neighbors, and neighbors keep you in their sights
They become violators, voyeurs who just want to read everything you write
and the thought of their thoughts on your thoughts keeps you up at night
and when you sleep you walk among the words that they read
the ones you loved and tried to keep
but now they're dark and turned to bruises that you dream
Now, someday you might find there's more to say
than what your tongue and teeth can put in place
and when it comes you'll feel you've fallen far away
from where you thought the world got it's grace
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5. |
Vow
05:24
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Vow
I pressed the black ink down onto the page
old words from a pen of such a young age
but they were written for you on our wedding day
and spoken for all to hear
I stood before myself in a three-piece suit
trying to look like the guy who should be with you
but I ran into some problems, I found quite a few
I spent some time looking in the mirror
cuz I know I'll never be the man you want
but I hope that you can love me while I try
cuz even though no doubt without me you'd be fine
if you didn't have ribs to hold your heart I'd give you mine
The weather's been rough, but the work's been good
there's been bad overlaid that we've understood
and I've done you wrong like you knew I would
you've shown your love the most
Do you remember that night when the storm came through
it shook the house and it shook me too
I cannot believe I did that to you
I thought I'd lost us both
cuz I know I'll never be the man you want
but I hope that you can love me while I try
cuz even though no doubt without me you'd be fine
if you didn't have eyes to see your worth I'd give you mine
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6. |
Leave It Alone
03:56
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Leave It Alone
Make a name for the silence you hate and call it something strange
'Cause you're the one with it all figured out, you don't think you need to change
so I'll leave you alone
Call him out as the boy starts to sing, he's broken, battered, and beat
And don't think of a thing to admire, no don't fall to retreat
and I'll leave it to time and watch it all wash away
these things that've been done
and after the ghosts of memories that are haunting us have gone
we can leave it alone
Lay it down like you have no regrets because this is just a game
And it's fine, make her carry all of the weight because only you feel the pain
and I'll leave it to time and watch it all wash away
these things that've been done
and after the ghosts of memories that are haunting us have gone
we can set the broken bones
and we'll bury the sticks and the stones
we can call it a house, not a home
and we'll leave it alone
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7. |
The Rest
04:10
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The Rest
I've decided to swim the sands
Pull on through to another space
Break the glass with open hands
Scatter the hour all over the place
Waves collide and we watch each side
as the sand is moistened and the waves are dried
No more time, it's all a mess
No more rhymes 'cause you know the rest
I've decided to break the strings
Snap the tethers of this company
Pound the keys just to hear them scream
and hope the noise is a comfort to me
Waves collide and we watch each side
as the ears are tickled and I lose my mind
No more time it's all a mess
No more rhymes 'cause here comes the rest
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8. |
Handle the Hurt
04:11
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Handle the Hurt
Low altitude but I feel a heavy high,
it's cold and slows my mind into sleep
I close my eyes and watch the temperature rise,
the core is closer when I'm diggin down deep
I can breathe
in the cold air
hides heat
My skin's not thick but I'm thinkin I could handle the hurt
I've been numbed up to feel nothin now I know what it's worth
I would see the softer side so clear
if I could take a look at life through the fog of tears
So out of tune I disconnect from the rest,
the screamin silence makes me deaf as I need
cuz I can feel the beat the best
when I'm holding my heart to slow the song that I bleed
I can see
in the darkness
light sings
Well, I don't wanna complain about nothin
but at least somethin bad would still be somethin
pleasure can come with some pain but now reverse it
and I'll wear my bruise as a badge if I think I deserve it
I would see the softer side so clear if I could take a look at life through the fog--
My skin's not thick but I'm thinkin I could handle the hurt
I've been numbed up to feel nothin now I know what it's worth
I would see the softer side so clear
if I could take a look at life through the fog of tears
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9. |
The Patio Song
04:13
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The Patio Song
I'm tired of today
and the night seems it won't end
No promise for tomorrow,
but that's how it's always been
Now I'm talking to my future
in the past a present tense
and everything I'm saying
to him doesn't make any sense
I'm tired of the pitch--
don't want what this nature has to sell
Cuz I'm crying for the two-tone
but you know better than to tell
And so we watch the rain with envy
and lay down love in our defense
And though the scene seems quite perfect
it just doesn't make any sense
And I'm not trying to sound upset
I'm just looking for a change
And I know you want a life
You know I want the same
It's not that I am discontent
I just want things to make a little sense.
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10. |
Sink Into My Stomach
02:32
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Sink Into My Stomach
I ignore the fault lines
running through my head
they fall down my throat
and knot up my neck
children are killed
in the most graphic dreams
I sink into my stomach
and scream
I'm told I'm a jerk
and that I don't seem real
I'm constantly asked
how I feel--I don't feel
The settled confusion
is worse than it seems
I sink into my stomach
and scream
I had a dream
that a woman was sad
Her babies were bruised
by a friend who'd gone mad
My mind is filled
with most shocking scenes
I sink into my stomach
and scream
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11. |
Evergreen Wolf
04:13
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Evergreen Wolf
If you can feel my beat
rock your ribs, my tongue and teeth
comb your winter coat
then hold your head beneath
and whisper with the earth stuck in your throat
into my withered ear
the sound of your howlin' tears
singing softly
and I will call the moon to
tug your tide and make you high when you think of me
I'm gone but you've still got me
as long as you think of me as home
Out on the outskirts
while I feigned to follow father's verse
you waited for me
and now I wait for you
up above in the seed at the edge of the limb of the evergreen.
And when the forest burns
the flames will cast a killing curse
and we will finally fall
into the ash and dust
'til the spring reigns over us and we can let our roots crawl.
I'm gone but you've still got me
as long as you think of me as home
and even though I'm feelin' the ache of change
I know that without it things would stay the same.
Even though I'm feelin' the ache of change
I know that without it things would stay the same.
And now I wait for you
up above in the seed at the edge of the limb of the evergreen.
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12. |
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How My Father Won the War
Well, let me tell you a story about how my father won the war.
He held a gun upon his shoulder and wondered what he's fighting for.
He told me throwing down his gloves,
"Do what you can to build it slow
cause once it's done you'll stand and turn to walk away and realize there's nowhere else to go.
You'll realize there's nowhere else to go."
He watched them die, there were so many--the boys who fought by his side.
And though he can't remember their names he can still recall all their lives.
I think I know what made him better--
made him the one to win the war.
Though they had all taken so many steps he was always sure to take one more.
He was always sure to take one more.
And as the bullets flew with a screamin' he held on to what he was dreamin'.
So now he wakes up every morning next to my mother in their bed.
He's got a lot to think of, but he always thinks of her instead.
He told me thinking of her scent,
"I'm always sure to hold her close
'cause once I get up and ready for the day I realize there's nowhere else to go.
I realize there's nowhere else to go."
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Marcus Eugene Boise, Idaho
Born a bold jumping spider, Marcus Eugene devoured his mother for the sake of life with a lute. However, the jury ruled it not an act of love for music, but of hatred for mothers--and sentenced him to be smushed between two Boise city buses. So, Marcus stole threads of Folk, Country, Blues, and Rock, spun a sleeping bag, and skipped town. Please contact local authorities if you've seen him. ... more
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